When Logic Knows The Way But Emotions Refuse To Walk

At 7 AM, I received a message from a client following our therapy session the previous week: “I slept well last night, so I feel good!” It was a simple and straightforward statement, much like her. For someone who had battled chronic insomnia, hearing her express that was profoundly significant to me. It indicated that a shift had occurred within her, however small and gentle, happening little by little each day. And we had only had one session together.

Why do so many individuals try everything from talk therapy to medication and various other methods, yet still feel trapped? Because much of what keeps us “stuck” resides in the unconscious mind, where words, logic, and even our best efforts often cannot penetrate.

Talk therapy allows us to feel acknowledged, gives names to our emotions, and helps us better comprehend our narrative. This is incredibly valuable. However, a rarely mentioned truth is that understanding alone isn’t sufficient to foster change.

I once worked with a young woman in her thirties who had explored various forms of psychological therapy for four years. She had a clear understanding of her childhood wounds and knew precisely why she feared intimacy and why she kept gravitating towards toxic relationships. Yet, after each therapy session, she found herself falling back into the same emotional pit, unable to escape.

“I’m exhausted because I understand too much, but I can’t break free,” she confided.

From a neuroscientific viewpoint, this makes complete sense. When we recount a painful experience, the brain—especially the amygdala (an almond-shaped structure deep within the temporal lobe) and the insula (brain regions located deep within the lateral sulcus)—cannot differentiate it as a past event. The brain continues to react as if it’s occurring in the present, triggering stress responses and releasing cortisol, thereby recreating the biological cycle of stress. This process can reinforce painful memories rather than allowing them to fade. This phenomenon is known as trauma reactivation through narrative recall.

Additionally, research on neuroplasticity reveals that each time we think, speak, or feel something, we are reinforcing the associated neural pathways. The unconscious functions through “grooves,” and repeatedly narrating a story can deepen it if there isn’t a corresponding transformation at the sensory, bodily, and nervous system levels.

Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, emphasizes, “Suppressed emotions don’t vanish; they merely wait for opportunities to manifest through anxiety, sleep disorders, defensive reactions, or even physical illness.” Healing requires more than understanding “what happened”; we need a process that helps the nervous system regain its sense of safety. We need tools that access the body, brain, and deep emotional layers where old memories and reactions are “recorded.”

Currently, there are numerous approaches grounded in neuroscience and mind-body-spirit integration. Some methods bypass words and work through sensation, imagery, or breath, allowing the unconscious to open up and be rewired. These approaches don’t replace talk therapy, but they can be transformative for those who have “understood enough and now wish to truly break free.” Ultimately, true freedom doesn't come from understanding why we hurt, it comes from our body and nervous system no longer being held captive by that pain.

For those who have attended numerous classes, read countless books, and grasped enough theories yet remain ensnared in an emotion, a story, or an old image that keeps resurfacing, perhaps logic isn’t the key. Sometimes what is needed is a different door, opening a route to deeper layers where unconscious beliefs formed in childhood still quietly govern us. When approached from this angle, in a manner that is safe and respectful, I have witnessed many individuals not just understand but genuinely break free, recover, and live more lightly than ever before.

I don’t believe in “miracle cures,” but I am convinced that when the right method intersects with the right moment and a person is ready to open their heart, transformation is entirely achievable. And if there’s a part of you gently knocking at the door, yearning to be heard in a new way… perhaps now is the time to embark on a different journey.

— Q